Everyone - "So when are you having kids?"

I have been wrestling with writing this post for a few days now.  I feel like the point of a blog is to write things that have been on your mind.  As someone who was a religious journaler (is that a word) in high school, the thought is appealing.  The idea for this post has been there, but I keep worrying about the “backlash” so to speak and therefore pushing the idea aside.  But, what the heck.

I am Catholic (you may or may not have picked that up from my other posts).  I was born and raised in the Catholic faith and my beliefs imbue every aspect of my life.  Including the fact that my husband and I do not use contraception.  Gasp  I know, you can pick your jaw up off the floor now.

But how, might you ask, could you possibly have gone a whole year of being married and not have gotten pregnant?!  NFP my friends, NFP.  NFP, or Natural Family Planning, is NOT the rhythm method.  I remember before I got married and my friends would ask if I would finally be going on birth control and I’d say “No, We’re going to practice NFP.”  They would die laughing and then assure me that I would get pregnant on my wedding night.  Gee, thanks for the support. 

Chris, bless his heart, had no idea what NFP was before we got married but agreed to attend a class with me so that we could learn more.   NFP is a method approved by the Catholic Church as a means to achieve or avoid pregnancy.  When done correctly it is 99% effective - the same as the pill mind you and more effective than just using a condom (http://ccli.org/nfp/effectiveness/compare-methods.php).  God, in His wisdom, designed the female body to naturally have times of fertility and infertility.  NFP teaches you to learn more about your body and encourages your spouse to do so as well so that you can accurately predict these times and during the fertile times the couple abstains if they are avoiding pregnancy.  Which is hard. Let’s be real.  But honestly, it’s opened Chris and I to learning new ways to show each other how much we love one another.

As I kind of said before, I’ve run into a few different reactions when people hear we’re practicing NFP – well, those that we’ve told at least, we don’t just go around talking about this stuff all the time.  There are those who think we are going against the Catholic Church and God’s plan.  That if we truly trusted God we would trust that he would not give us children until we are ready and all of this charting is not necessary.   This http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/marriage-and-family/natural-family-planning/ would probably be ignored.  But anyway, that is one reaction I get.  The second, as previously stated, is along the lines of “Ha!  That never works.  Just go on the pill then we won’t have to throw you a baby shower months after your bridal shower.”  Both reactions hurt. Chris and I are trying to be responsible parents (eventually).  I only just finished grad school and now have a mountain of debt.  The time for a baby is…not yet.  But, at the same time, we are open to life. 

I feel like there is so much more I could say…but this post is already getting to be on the long side.  I’ll just end with a little shout out to those Catholic couples who are also practicing NFP.  You are not alone and it helps me feel less alone when I Google “NFP blog” and see a ton of blogs about young couples practicing their faith and living it out, in one way, through NFP.

If you’re interested in learning more, The Couple to Couple League is a wonderful resource.  It was through CCL that we took our class about NFP and if you become a member you will receive a quarterly magazine called Family Foundations.  It has some fantastic articles.  Also, as a member you can download their mobile charting app, very handy for the modern NFP couple ;-) http://www.ccli.org/