Warm weather Quick Takes

Joining Jen for another 7 Quick Takes

1.  You may (or may not) have noticed some changes 'round these here parts...I switched up the template for my blog....It's a "free" template...and I'm still trying to work things out with the code and what not.  But I certainly don't know all that I could about code so we'll see how that goes. Thoughts?  Like this better or worse than my other template?

2. I don't know where most of you live, but here in Maryland we've enjoyed quite a gorgeous weekend.  Chris and I spent some time in Lowe's and Home Depot getting a few herbs to start our (very small) herb box.  Mint, basil, and cilantro.  I'm hoping we can get a few more/maybe some veggies but we'll see how well we can keep these babies alive.

Day spent plantin' some herbs and sippin' some pomegranate martini

3. So I'm really hoping spring has officially sprung.  And am therefore beginning my spring cleaning.  I started today by cleaning out my closet.  Those skinny jeans (might as well be called sausage stuffers) that I've been holding on to, just assuring myself I'll fit into one day?  Yea, they're being donated so someone 1/2 my size can enjoy them.  That slim fit shirt that's become just a little too slim fitting?  Also getting donated.  Good Will is gonna love me.

4. Which leads me to my new found commitment to working out/eating healthier.  I'm using the My Fitnesss Pal app and have a gym membership @ Planet Fitness.  I am determined to lost that "newlywed 15"...2 years later.  The fact that we're going to Fl with Chris' family in a month is also a motivating factor.

5.  I'm working really hard at ignoring the fact that this month is yet again a month without a positive pregnancy test.  Trying reeeeally hard you guys.  And I hate complaining, because I know there are people who are suffering through so much worse, I know.  So I cover it all up, and pretend I'm totally ok with it.  I drink my pomegranate martinis and act like this is what I want.  Because I need to do that or I'll end a blubbering mess every month.  Especially when very well meaning old ladies remind you "not to wait too long" Uh, thanks.  We're not exactly in control over here, but thanks for that mini punch in the gut (well meaning, I know she meant well!)  Ugh, and just typing these words makes me feel like a terrible person because I feel like I don't have the right to be so upset by this.  I keep telling myself, and Chris does an amazing job of reminding me, that God  is in control and His timing is where we need to place our trust.  Your Will be done, not mine. (my latest mantra...seems appropriate for Holy Week)

6. Speaking of Holy Week, have you seen Kendra's post about how she does Holy Week?  I loved it, and think I'd like to incorporate some of what she does into our week this year.  My new company gives us a day off on Good Friday, and Chris has fought for his Good Friday off as well, so I'm still searching for ways to create new Holy Week traditions for our family.  Last year we attending the Holy Thursday mass, I went to the Good Friday service on my own (Chris' company wasn't so generous last year), and then we just did Easter Sunday with the family.  This year will probably be very similar, expect I'll have my husband by my side for Good Friday, which is so nice.  We usually also watch either The Passion of the Christ, of Jesus of Nazareth.  How do you keep the "holy" in Holy Week?

7. This article was trending on my Facebook news feed this week.  I'm so glad I decided to click the link and read it.  He makes so many fantastic points about modesty....like this:

                "Modest is hottest might work as a bumper sticker, because it rhymes and it’s three words long, but it makes for a woefully abysmal defense of modesty. The point of modesty isn’t to better achieve the intended results of immodesty. Modesty isn’t  virtuous because it’s ‘hot,’ it’s virtuous because it’s concerned with something far greater than being hot."

 I feel like with the warmer months coming up, and the great "bikini debate" that is sure to arise, this article is just another great way to look at modesty.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

And with that, I bid you a Happy Weekend :-)  I hope you're enjoying the nice weather as much as Chris and I are!

The Check List LIfe

I love check lists.  I love the feeling of checking something off a list.  It gives me just an added bit of satisfaction that whatever I needed to get done, is in fact, finished.  Not to mention that with my tendency to forget things and put them off until the very last minute, check lists help me make sure things get done when they are supposed to.

Now, work with me here on this analogy.  I think that sometimes people can fall into a sort of "Check List Life"

Get your bachelors degree (check)
Get your Masters degree (check)
Get married to the man of your dreams (check)
Get a "big girl" job (check)
Buy a house (check)
Get a dog (check)
Have a baby (no check...yet)

As much as I love check lists...I want so much more for my life, my marriage, my family than for it to just be something to "check" off a list.  A few different things come to mind for me when thinking about combating this "check list" mentality.

First, I can remember a conversation I had with a good friend of mine back when Chris and I were still just getting to know each other.  I was confiding in this friend that I was worried about our differing life styles, namely, where we were in our faith journeys.  I was born and raise Catholic and stayed true to my faith my whole life.  Chris was born and raised Catholic but fell away from the church during his college years and never really went back.  When we first started talking he stated that he was "agnostic."  Well now, dating an "agnostic" was just not on my check list!  My friend Erica challenged me on this.  She talked about how often girls make a mental check list about what they want the "man of their dreams" to be like.  They need to be tall, handsome, virtuous, faithful, a man of faith, smart, funny...we might as well throw in there that they be faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound (yes, that is a Superman reference).  I realized, I don't want my "dream" man, I want the man God has for me.  What is that saying?  "If you want to make God laugh, show him your checklist?"  No?  Not it?  Close enough, right?

My friend pointed out that I was not allowing any room for grace.  Yes Chris may be an agnostic now, but was he willing to grown with me in faith?  The answer to that was yes, he was.  And has.  We grow together everyday in our faith, we talk about the role of our faith in raising our family.  If I had not allowed this room for grace, acknowledging that God knows best, ignored that tug on my heart, I would not be here with him as happy as I am.

Now, granted, I do believe that women should have standards.  It is good to know what might be your "deal breakers."  But I am just saying that I wonder whether sometimes God puts these "deal breakers" in our paths to show us that HE is still in control of our lives, not us.

And then I think back to a conversation I had with my sister years ago.  My sister is my hero.  She suffered with infertility for 11 years before conceiving, naturally, my sweet niece (for those who read my Who Am I? post, that is why we call her our miracle baby).  My sister's story is a powerful one, and hopefully she'll write a guest post for me one day.  Anywho, there was one evening I was with her and we were talking about women having babies and how sometimes women have children just so they can "check it off their list."  I agree.  I think that people can postpone pregnancy for wrong, selfish reasons - saving for that new Camero, maybe - and I am wondering if people can have a baby for the wrong reasons too.  I am grateful to these women for giving their children life of course, but as a counselor, I wonder about their quality of life.  If all these sweet, innocent children are is something checked off a life list I hope they will still be given the love, time, and attention that they deserve.

One of my guilty pleasures is the TV show One Tree Hill...certainly not a model of morality, but it has it's entertaining moments.  As I'm talking about this check list baby mentality, Brooke's mother comes to mind...if you've seen the show,  you'll get the reference! :-)

I learned my lesson though in the past, and I am going to leave this open to grace.  Grace for these mother's to change their view of their child from a commodity to be had, an item to check of their list; to viewing their children as gifts from God.

All of this is just a random thought I had the other day and it would be super interesting to get some other perspectives as I have not fully fleshed this idea out and may be taking a super narrow view.

Happy Wednesday!

God Listens

Last night I was blessed with the opportunity to be a part of a women's study group.  Do you ever have those moments, small or large, where you just stop and think "Wow God, you really are listening to my prayers?"  This was one of those times.  Ever since C and I got married I had been feeling a pull towards either joining or starting a women's fellowship group.  Growing up I really did not have any Catholic friends, I was sort of the "odd one out" in my groups of friends - although don't get me wrong, I have fantastic friends!  But still, sometimes there are some things that I could really use someone with the same belief system to talk to. Which led me back to this "pull."  Our church had a women's group but it was at 9 a.m. ... not conducive to the working woman's schedule.  So then I thought...well, maybe I'll just start one!  And I can make it a sort of craft/prayer/fellowship group!  But that sort of fell by the wayside...my shy, introverted self did not much relish the thought of being a "leader" of anything.

Then the other day I was having coffee with a dear friend from college and her a-dor-able daughter.  She brought up the fact that her sister was starting a woman's group and, would I like to join?  *"Wow God, you really are listening to my prayers"* I would love to join, thank you so much!

Last night was the first meeting of this group.  I only knew a couple people and had to fight with my shy self (or you could call it an attack) that kept saying "It's going to be awkward, you don't know anyone, YOU'RE going to be awkward...just stay home"  I fought my inner demons and showed up promptly at 7 (my husband would have been proud).  I am so thankful that I went.  The women were so wonderful and we all came from different backgrounds/walks of life.  Some were married, some single.  Some had children, some did not.  Everyone was so candid and open that I felt comfortable enough to talk and participate!  We touched on so many different topics and at the end, we all prayed for each other and the particular struggles we were going through at that moment.

I left the group feeling refreshed and rejuvenated and am looking forward to the next meeting in a couple weeks!

Last night the topic was femininity, so I'll leave you with this quote from Blessed John Paul II

"In fact, femininity has a unique relationship with the Mother of the Redeemer, a subject which can be studied in greater depth elsewhere. Here I simply wish to note that the figure of Mary of Nazareth sheds light on womanhood as such by the very fact that God, in the sublime event of the Incarnation of his Son, entrusted himself to the ministry, the free and active ministry of a woman. It can thus be said that women, by looking to Mary, find in her the secret of living their femininity with dignity and of achieving their own true advancement. In the light of Mary, the Church sees in the face of women the reflection of a beauty which mirrors the loftiest sentiments of which the human heart is capable: the self-offering totality of love; the strength that is capable of bearing the greatest sorrows; limitless fidelity and tireless devotion to work; the ability to combine penetrating intuition with words of support and encouragement" (Redemptoris Mater #46)