Counseling as a Reflection of God's love

I wrote this a few weeks ago...and kept meaning to publish it, but it got away from me (just like that post about our kitchen reno...I promise it's coming).  Anyways, here's the post from the draft folder

My emotional stores are empty.  Well...ok, not empty, but if I were a car - my warning light would be on by the gas meter.

This week I started telling my clients that I'm leaving the agency at the end of the month.  When I tell people how sad it is having to tell my clients, I will either get the response of "that's interesting, you wouldn't think it'd be so hard since you've only been there 4 months" or a more understanding "I can't imagine how hard that must be for you"

Yes, I’ve only been here 4 months…but in a therapeutic relationship, that’s plenty of time to have built up trust and a bond.  My youngest clients don’t quite grasp that I’m leaving – or they grasp it but are just like “ok cool, a new counselor to play with!” which makes it easier.  But my teenage clients – most of them have received the news less than happily.  Although I do have one particularly tough client who was literally smiling the whole time I gave my “I’m leaving the agency” speech.  I knew she’d be happy though, I’m just hoping I was able to plant some little seed in her during our time together that perhaps another counselor can help to grow. 

This morning, however, my one mostly nonverbal client nearly broke my heart with his reaction to my news. Whenever I would talk about transitioning to a new therapist he would just shake his head and emphatically point to me.  This client is one of my newer clients – and honestly, if you’d asked me yesterday whether I thought we’d built a therapeutic relationship, I probably would have said no, we’re still in the rapport building stage.  Apparently I was wrong.

I was reminded through this client about how much the therapeutic relationship (from a Pastoral Counseling view) mirrors Christ’s unconditional love for us.  Unconditional positive regard (can you tell I’m Rogerian?), empathy, grace.  Whatever you want to call it.  We show that to our clients when they come into our counseling space.  The same way that God does not stop loving us when we stumble, when we make mistakes, when we sin, is the same way counselors are with their clients.  Even during our intakes we let our clients know that we’re not here to get mad at them – we’re here to help them make better decisions so that when they do stumble (and stumble they will) they can get right back up and try again.

How many times have we, as Catholics, stumbled and taken ourselves to confession, had the priest, as the representation of Christ, show us grace, give us some encouragement and gently help us get back up and try again.

This is why I love what I do, and why I am so excited to soon be working in a Catholic environment.  The counseling relationship, the counseling room, has always been (for me – I can’t really speak for other counselors of course) such a beautiful reflection of God’s love.  And that has always been what I wanted – to be an instrument of that love for my clients. 

Here’s to hoping that I’ve accomplished that – maybe not with all, but at least a few of my clients in my time as a counselor.  

Any prayers you can offer up for me this week, as I terminate with all of my clients, would be greatly appreciated.  I have been holding on to this quote this week:"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel"