Counseling as a Reflection of God's love

I wrote this a few weeks ago...and kept meaning to publish it, but it got away from me (just like that post about our kitchen reno...I promise it's coming).  Anyways, here's the post from the draft folder

My emotional stores are empty.  Well...ok, not empty, but if I were a car - my warning light would be on by the gas meter.

This week I started telling my clients that I'm leaving the agency at the end of the month.  When I tell people how sad it is having to tell my clients, I will either get the response of "that's interesting, you wouldn't think it'd be so hard since you've only been there 4 months" or a more understanding "I can't imagine how hard that must be for you"

Yes, I’ve only been here 4 months…but in a therapeutic relationship, that’s plenty of time to have built up trust and a bond.  My youngest clients don’t quite grasp that I’m leaving – or they grasp it but are just like “ok cool, a new counselor to play with!” which makes it easier.  But my teenage clients – most of them have received the news less than happily.  Although I do have one particularly tough client who was literally smiling the whole time I gave my “I’m leaving the agency” speech.  I knew she’d be happy though, I’m just hoping I was able to plant some little seed in her during our time together that perhaps another counselor can help to grow. 

This morning, however, my one mostly nonverbal client nearly broke my heart with his reaction to my news. Whenever I would talk about transitioning to a new therapist he would just shake his head and emphatically point to me.  This client is one of my newer clients – and honestly, if you’d asked me yesterday whether I thought we’d built a therapeutic relationship, I probably would have said no, we’re still in the rapport building stage.  Apparently I was wrong.

I was reminded through this client about how much the therapeutic relationship (from a Pastoral Counseling view) mirrors Christ’s unconditional love for us.  Unconditional positive regard (can you tell I’m Rogerian?), empathy, grace.  Whatever you want to call it.  We show that to our clients when they come into our counseling space.  The same way that God does not stop loving us when we stumble, when we make mistakes, when we sin, is the same way counselors are with their clients.  Even during our intakes we let our clients know that we’re not here to get mad at them – we’re here to help them make better decisions so that when they do stumble (and stumble they will) they can get right back up and try again.

How many times have we, as Catholics, stumbled and taken ourselves to confession, had the priest, as the representation of Christ, show us grace, give us some encouragement and gently help us get back up and try again.

This is why I love what I do, and why I am so excited to soon be working in a Catholic environment.  The counseling relationship, the counseling room, has always been (for me – I can’t really speak for other counselors of course) such a beautiful reflection of God’s love.  And that has always been what I wanted – to be an instrument of that love for my clients. 

Here’s to hoping that I’ve accomplished that – maybe not with all, but at least a few of my clients in my time as a counselor.  

Any prayers you can offer up for me this week, as I terminate with all of my clients, would be greatly appreciated.  I have been holding on to this quote this week:"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel"

Long weekend...of painting

This is going to be a short post, more of a precursor to a post I'll be writing later.  About our mini kitchen reno.  

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July weekend.  We hosted my family and make some delish GF& DF kabobs (my sister is dairy and gluten free).  I also made some yummy GF and DF peanut butter chocolate chip (dairy free) cookies.

And then Saturday we started the long.  very long.  process of painting our kitchen cabinets.  I've been wanting to do this since we moved in but have been more than slightly overwhelmed by the idea.  And rightly so it turns out.  But, never the less, we bought Rust-Oleum cabinet transformations in pure white and got to work.

We live in a townhouse without a garage and so we had to improvise on working space and could only paint half the cabinet doors at a time.  We took out our dining room table and put it in our living room and turned the dining room into the area for cabinet painting.  And let me just tell you how uncomfortable it has been painting like that.  More on that later though.

For now, here are a few "teaser" photos from my phone that shows a little of our progress.

This really shows the difference in color...beige/cream/gross to white!

First coat

First coat

We just finished putting the "protective coat" on the doors so by tonight they should be ready to have the new hardware put on.  I'll let you know all about how I've liked this product in the next post.

Until them, have a wonderful week!

5 Favorite Theme Songs

When I saw that Jen wanted to know our "theme songs" and that it's Wednesday - well I couldn't pass up the opportunity to answer her question and link up for Five Favorites with Heather.  Saying I love music doesn't quite encompass what music means to me - so narrowing this down is going to be difficult.  But, here goes!

1. Our wedding song - Changed by You by Between the Trees.  My friend Leslie told me about this small, pretty unknown band and listening to the song and the lyrics - and sharing it with Chris - we knew this would be "our" song.
"And so, if you're supposed to get what you deserve in life
You came just in the nick of time
God's grace has overtaken me
My love, needless to say, I am blessed by you"

Plus, I'm a sucker for a song with piano.

2. I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me.  There are very few songs that take me back literally to one point in time.  Every time I hear this song I am taken back to a church, sitting in the back pews, listening to this song be performed by a couple guys that went to my high school for the funeral of my friend Doug.  The emotions tied up in this song are strong and it's a rare time that I can listen to it without tears coming to my eyes.

3. Wonderwall by Oasis.  This was pretty much my high school anthem and what I longed for.  That person to "save" me.  Fast forward to our honeymoon and Chris ended up singing this song to me at karaoke one night.  I high-fived my high school self for finding a guy who would sing this song to me

4. It wouldn't be right for Something Corporate to be missing from this list.  Another testament to my love for songs with piano.  Something Corporate was my favorite band all through high school and college and is one of those bands that I'm fairly certain I still know all the words to.  This was THE Something Corporate song.  I was never allowed to go to one of their concerts in high school and then the lead singer Andrew McMahon was diagnosed with leukemia and the band broke up (he later started up Jack's Mannequin - another awesome band).  They came back for a reunion tour which I went to with one of my best friends from high school...there's something about seeing your favorite band live.  When this song came on - literally everyone at the concert sang along.  It was awesome.
[DISCLAIMER: there's some language in this one, so listeners beware if little ears are near]

5.  I"m telling you, this was really hard to narrow down!  And I know throughout the day I"m going to stop and be like "man!  I should have put this song on the list!"  It may have been easier to do bands...but hey, maybe I'll add songs to this list at a later date.  For now, my fifth song - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World.  Music in high school was my life blood.  And this song...this song was just such a positive message for an angsty teen (and I was hardly the angstiest of teens)."Just be yourself, it doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else."  Even my mom liked this song - which if you know my mom, that's simultaneously hilarious and shocking.  Also, I've never actually seen the music video for this - there are lots of half naked people, and a lot of making out.  But the song is still great.  And the message still comes across.

This was super fun.  Happy Wednesday all!  Yay for short weeks :-)