Anxiety is a form of Atheism

Oddly enough, it was thinking about learning how to ski that prompted me to think about writing this post.  "Anxiety is a form of atheism."  If you're anything like me, that sentence kind of feels a bit like being punched in the gut (or what I think being punch in the gut might feel like). A few months ago a priest at our parish gave a homily, and I don't really remember much of what he said other than this line.  And I'm pretty sure I teared up.

*Now, as a counselor I feel like I need to state a caveat here.  I do not mean clinically diagnosed anxiety - I mean your run of the mill, daily worries.  Worries that do not impair your life...are just more so annoyances.  So from here on, when I say anxiety, that it what I mean*

Anyway, I teared up and felt like I had just gotten punched in the gut because anxiety is something that I struggle with big time.  Here, let me give you a pictorial example of what I mean:

My mind is a scary place - and I have mastered the art of reframing my cognitive distortions (BOOM - you've been counseled).  However, it's still something that is a daily occurrence and something I work on constantly.  So, when my in-laws and my husband proposed we take a mini vacay to go skiing and I can learn how to ski...well my mind clearly started jumping to the worst conclusions.  Despite that, my answer was an enthusiastic (I think) yes.

But then I start thinking...what if I run into a tree?  What if I just simply can't learn how to ski?  What will my husband and in-laws think of me then?  They'll be so disappointed.  What happens if I break a bone, or get a concussion?  What if I fall off the ski lift?  What if I fall and roll all the way down the hill?  ... and that is just a glimpse into the many thoughts that ran around in my mind.

But then one morning I was driving to work and I started thinking...what kind of an example of faith am I if I just walk around as one big...anxiety girl?  "If God is for us, who can be against us" Rom 8:31  When people see me and/or talk to me I want to be an example of that.  I was to show people the trust and faith that I have in God...but the multitude of worries that I have does not quite do that.

And I think that is what the priest was trying to say in that homily.  We need to trust and rely on God so completely that our anxieties are gone, or at the very least, lightened.  We need to lay our anxieties on Him.  He carries our burdens.  And this is certainly not something that can just happen with the flip of a switch.  It's completely changing what our initial, gut reaction is to things.  When we're faced with situations that cause us anxiety, how to we handle them?  Do we instantly jump to the worst conclusions and feel our heart rates rise and our palms get sweaty?  Or do we pause a moment, take a deep breath and remind ourselves to "cast our cares on the Lord." 

Will this be easy?  Heck no.  In fact, I'm getting anxious just thinking about it *wink*  But I do believe that with time, it will help.  Our anxiety will be lessened, and soon it will be second nature to give our anxieties to God rather than letting them consume us.

I recently read a devotion over at Blessed Is She (have you checked them out and subscribed yet?  Daily readings and devotions straight to your email...don't miss out!).  It really spoke to me and seemed to fit in perfectly with the theme of this post.  The devotion talked about how we are continually instructed in the Bible to not be afraid.  And the writer leaves us with this question, "What fears are preventing you from walking in His ways?" 

My "new years resolution" ties in with this idea of giving God our anxieties as well.  I have a tendency to avoid going to events/meetings/talks etc. when I don't know people who are going.  Why?  Anxiety.  I get nervous and anxious about not knowing anyone.  Will anyone talk to me?  Will I look like a total loser who has no friends?  What if I say something stupid and then no one really will talk to me!?  I work myself up so much that I end up not going...and I miss out on some fantastic opportunities to grow in faith and fellowship.  So...my new years resolution has been that I will not let my social anxiety keep me from going to events that will help me grow in my faith and will help me meet new people who can hold me accountable in my faith.

Who's going to join me in a year in which we transform our anxiety atheism into trusting God with our whole heart, mind, body and soul?

Well, now that I've rambled on for days...I'll leave you with picture proof that I actually went (and survived) skiing

so bundled up you can't see an inch of skin...