Warm weather Quick Takes

Joining Jen for another 7 Quick Takes

1.  You may (or may not) have noticed some changes 'round these here parts...I switched up the template for my blog....It's a "free" template...and I'm still trying to work things out with the code and what not.  But I certainly don't know all that I could about code so we'll see how that goes. Thoughts?  Like this better or worse than my other template?

2. I don't know where most of you live, but here in Maryland we've enjoyed quite a gorgeous weekend.  Chris and I spent some time in Lowe's and Home Depot getting a few herbs to start our (very small) herb box.  Mint, basil, and cilantro.  I'm hoping we can get a few more/maybe some veggies but we'll see how well we can keep these babies alive.

Day spent plantin' some herbs and sippin' some pomegranate martini

3. So I'm really hoping spring has officially sprung.  And am therefore beginning my spring cleaning.  I started today by cleaning out my closet.  Those skinny jeans (might as well be called sausage stuffers) that I've been holding on to, just assuring myself I'll fit into one day?  Yea, they're being donated so someone 1/2 my size can enjoy them.  That slim fit shirt that's become just a little too slim fitting?  Also getting donated.  Good Will is gonna love me.

4. Which leads me to my new found commitment to working out/eating healthier.  I'm using the My Fitnesss Pal app and have a gym membership @ Planet Fitness.  I am determined to lost that "newlywed 15"...2 years later.  The fact that we're going to Fl with Chris' family in a month is also a motivating factor.

5.  I'm working really hard at ignoring the fact that this month is yet again a month without a positive pregnancy test.  Trying reeeeally hard you guys.  And I hate complaining, because I know there are people who are suffering through so much worse, I know.  So I cover it all up, and pretend I'm totally ok with it.  I drink my pomegranate martinis and act like this is what I want.  Because I need to do that or I'll end a blubbering mess every month.  Especially when very well meaning old ladies remind you "not to wait too long" Uh, thanks.  We're not exactly in control over here, but thanks for that mini punch in the gut (well meaning, I know she meant well!)  Ugh, and just typing these words makes me feel like a terrible person because I feel like I don't have the right to be so upset by this.  I keep telling myself, and Chris does an amazing job of reminding me, that God  is in control and His timing is where we need to place our trust.  Your Will be done, not mine. (my latest mantra...seems appropriate for Holy Week)

6. Speaking of Holy Week, have you seen Kendra's post about how she does Holy Week?  I loved it, and think I'd like to incorporate some of what she does into our week this year.  My new company gives us a day off on Good Friday, and Chris has fought for his Good Friday off as well, so I'm still searching for ways to create new Holy Week traditions for our family.  Last year we attending the Holy Thursday mass, I went to the Good Friday service on my own (Chris' company wasn't so generous last year), and then we just did Easter Sunday with the family.  This year will probably be very similar, expect I'll have my husband by my side for Good Friday, which is so nice.  We usually also watch either The Passion of the Christ, of Jesus of Nazareth.  How do you keep the "holy" in Holy Week?

7. This article was trending on my Facebook news feed this week.  I'm so glad I decided to click the link and read it.  He makes so many fantastic points about modesty....like this:

                "Modest is hottest might work as a bumper sticker, because it rhymes and it’s three words long, but it makes for a woefully abysmal defense of modesty. The point of modesty isn’t to better achieve the intended results of immodesty. Modesty isn’t  virtuous because it’s ‘hot,’ it’s virtuous because it’s concerned with something far greater than being hot."

 I feel like with the warmer months coming up, and the great "bikini debate" that is sure to arise, this article is just another great way to look at modesty.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

And with that, I bid you a Happy Weekend :-)  I hope you're enjoying the nice weather as much as Chris and I are!

Dealing with "Secondary Stress" in the helping profession

So, as you, the reader, may or may not have gathered, I am a Pastoral Counselor.  I did a brief overview of what that is in one of my first posts here.

I recently started a new job working with children ages 3-18 at an Outpatient Mental Health Clinic.  And it's been an intense first month.  I have already had so many different counseling experiences versus when I was at my old job.  I'm thankful for these experiences and I am hoping they will help me grow as a counselor.

At the same time, though, I have given in to a sort of fear about my profession.  I became a counselor so that I can help people.  As I wrote in my "thesis" paper for my Masters degree, I hope that my work as a counselor will help lead my clients along restful waters.  A place where the weary and burdened come to lay their sorrows, fears, etc. at my feet.  But sometimes those burdens come with CPS reports or safety contracts.  And those are difficult.  From the standpoint of it being sad to see your clients go through something so hard, as well as the more practical liability standpoint.  And I hate to think of that, because it makes me feel like I'm narrowing the work that we as counselors do to something that avoids liability.  Or something that will pass an audit from the state or insurance company.

I don't want the work I do with my clients to suddenly become a burden, or a space for fear.  Yes, clients will come to me with a painful past or present.  I need to hold that for them without fear.  Yes, there may come times when reports need to be made, and yes, it will be hard to do, but I know I have support where I am and the report is ultimately to ensure the safety of my clients.

I've been having a lot of fear and doubt about my chosen profession...pretty much since I started my first "big girl" job.  Which is in stark contrast to the joy I felt in my Masters program and clinical internships.  This work has never been "easy" but I certainly never worried about liability like I have been recently.  So where is this all coming from?!

I was browsing my book shelf the other day and came upon a book written by one of Loyola's Pastoral Counseling professors, Dr. Robert J. Wicks.  The book is entitled The Resilient Clinician.  I picked it up and just started reading the introduction to see if it was something I felt like delving into further.  And boy am I glad I did.  Seriously, the book opens with the quote, "They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel" Carl W. Buechner.  Pretty sure I internally yelled, YES!  Dr. Wicks speaks about something called "secondary stress" often felt by those in the helping profession.  Secondary stress occurs when we in the helping profession give, and give to our clients, patients etc. to the point that we have nothing left for ourselves.  Our practice fails, we start to make more mistakes, and even our health can start deteriorating.

I'm really looking forward to continue reading the book.  In fact, I think I desperately need to read this book.  The word that comes to mind when I think about how I'm feeling a month into my new job?  Oh. ver. whelmed.  Intakes to type, and Treatment Plans to do for just about all of my new clients (the number is quickly growing).  On top of keeping up with my daily contact notes.  And other administrative things as needed.  And all of that after leaving a super stressful job (for different reasons).  I probably should have taken more time off than a few days between jobs, just so I could de-stress from one job before beginning another.  I am so incredibly grateful for this new job, and all that I have been learning, don't get me wrong.  But the nature of this job is more difficult than some.  And I think this book is a great reminder that I need to make sure I take care of myself too.  I can't do my job well, and help others if I can't even take care of myself.

If you're in the helping profession, doctors, nurses, social workers, counselors etc. I highly recommend this book.  I'm hoping to write a little more about it once I've finished it.

My super late link up

I missed linking up with Jen (two weeks in a row) but I can still make it for WIWS!

This is still in 7 Quick takes format though...I started it last week, and just finished, hence the "updates"

1. I'm super excited about my newest crochet project.  This year seems to be the year of twin pregnancies, including Chris' cousin.  We're all super excited.  These babies are the first of the new generation on Chris' side and they're starting out with a bang!  Identical twin girls!  Her shower is at the end of April, and instead of cards, she wants books.  Which led to the inspiration for this project...here is a sneak peek of what I'm working on for her shower

Thing 1 and Thing 2 from the cat in the hat!  I love it, and while my slight OCD tendencies are rebelling against the less that neat "writing" I'm still pretty happy with how it turned out.  Thoughts?  Any ways I could make it better?  I modified a pattern from RepeatCrafterMe

UPDATE: 

2. Since this is also my What I Wore Sunday post, here's my Sunday outfit

From last weekend...

Sorry for the poor phone quality photos...I was in a rush and didn't have a chance to get my legit camera

The Deets: Shirt - Gap Outlet Skirt - Ol' faithful from Target Scarf - don't remember, but it's braided, a new way I learned to wear it Belt - stole from another outfit

I finally have a chambray shirt and I kind of love it :-)

UPDATE from this weekend:

Feel like this makes me look larger than reality...hmm

Dress: Anne Taylor outlet Shrug: WHBM 

3. Yesterday (last weekend) Chris and I went up to see my sister and brother-in-law to celebrate my niece's 2nd birthday.  I cannot believe she is two already!  Our family's little miracle baby, prayed for, for 11 years.  She's grown into such a smart, beautiful, funny, sweet little girl and I am so proud to be her aunt and god-mother.

4. Chris and I are watching (were watching) The Walking Dead finale...as we speak (type?)...wow.  Just...wow.  I still can't believe Chris got me into this show (I'm not one for a lot of blood and gore) but I'm quite glad he did.  I'm hooked now.  Check it out if you dare...and if you'd like a Catholic spin on the show, read Cari's recaps of the show...I look forward to reading them just as much as I do watching the show

5. Any Game of Thrones fans out there?  How bout that season premiere?!  I am love Arya more and more for a future baby girls name...although spelled Aria since there is actually a St. Aria.

6. I'm writing a post about secondary stress in helping professions.  I think I've been feeling this a little more than I would like to admit, and after beginning to read The Resilient Clinician I'm realizing how detrimental it can be both to my work as a counselor as well as to my personal life.

7. Grab your tissues for this one.  I may or may not have lost it a lil bit watching it.  Even Chris had a hard time watching it.  But I promise it has a happy ending.  My friend who posted this video on Facebook made note that during the first 4 min of the movie the baby would have been legally abortable (word?)